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marriage, though the parties would have to realise that cultural differences could well cause friction, though where there is a deep love between the parties this may be overcome. Scripture does not give a minimum age for marriage but there is the thought that the persons should have reached a reasonable age (perhaps puberty). This would be what is meant when Judah said to Tamar, his daughter-in law: "Remain a widow in thy father's house, until Shelah my son is grown" (Genesis 38:11). The present law in England makes the marriageable age 16 though within the last 100 years it was as young as 12.

There is also the question of the betrothal (what is usually called the engagement today). This is essentially an agreement to marry and is demonstrated by an exchange of rings. Such an engagement should not normally be broken and then only with the agreement of the other party. The wearing of an engagement ring would show to other possible suitors that the person wearing it has agreed to marry someone and this should avoid the embarrassment of an unwanted proposal. As in the past proposing was normally by the man, it was regarded as only necessary for the woman to wear a ring. At the time of the engagement it was usual to fix the date of the marriage as otherwise there was no real contract to marry. A contract for a sale of a house would not be legally valid if the latest completion date was not specified in the agreement. Today the betrothal has become almost a nothing. No party can sue for breach of promise, so that the contract is in any case one that is binding in honour only. Under the law of Moses it is clear that another man having sexual intercourse with a betrothed damsel would be liable to the death penalty the same as if he committed adultery with a married woman (Deuteronomy 22:23-29; Leviticus 20:10) .

It may be asked what is the position of those who live together as man and wife without actually getting properly married. Such are de facto married though not de jure married (actually if not rightfully). Such a way of entering into marriage can lead to confusion as to who is married and to whom and who is not. Christians should do things after the due order ("the ordered manner" Judges 6:26), else they are sinning. The thought is to "go in by the gates into the city" (Revelation 22:14). The relationship should be entered into in a legitimate way (see also John 10:1/2). We are enjoined to do all things "comelily and with order" (1 Corinthians 14:40). It appears that the woman in John 4 had had five husbands but that the man she had when Christ spoke to her was not her husband. This may mean simply that the relationship had not been properly entered into, but it could mean that the man she was living with was someone else's husband (verses 17/18). In any case the relationship was irregular to put it mildly.

Lastly it may be said: "Whatever ye do, do all things to God's glory" (1 Corinthians 10:31). This would apply to marriage as to anything else. Marriage is an honourable thing (Hebrews 13:4) rather than a holy one. It is a natural thing and relates to this life only (Matthew 22:30). Much more could be said, but the passages already quoted and the surrounding verses will throw light on the relationship to those who are concerned to learn what Scripture teaches on the subject. The scriptural teaching will not only commend itself to right thinking persons, but will result in a stable and happy marriage relationship which will benefit not only the parties concerned but also their children.

March 1999

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