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Marriage |
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The idea of marriage goes right back to Genesis 2:21-25. God instituted it although the word marriage does not appear in that section of Scripture. The first actual use of the word marriage is in Genesis 34:9. However, the thing itself is clearly in Genesis 2 because "Man and his wife" are spoken of. There were no marriage formalities in Genesis 2 and they were not necessary as God gave the wife to Adam and there was no one else around who could have wooed or claimed Eve. |
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The fundamental thought in marriage is that the two parties, the man and his wife should become one flesh (Genesis 2:24). Paul refers to this in 1 Corinthians 6:16 "Do ye not know that he [that is] joined to the harlot is one body? for the two, he says, shall be one flesh". Paul uses both expressions 'one body' and 'one flesh'. He can do this because the body is a body made of flesh. The being one body Paul hangs on the fact that Genesis 2 speaks of one flesh. Body and flesh are not different things. The contrast is to being 'one Spirit' (1 Corinthians 6:17). Paul is seeking to show the seriousness of fornication. The marriage relationship is intended by God to result in procreation as it says in Genesis 1:28 "And God blessed them; and God said to them, Be fruitful and multiply, and fill the earth, and subdue it". Note the them. For procreation to take place both a man and a woman are necessary.There are a number of other cases where a man and a woman may be living in the same house but the relationship is not one of marriage. A man may live with his Mother, his Sister or his Daughter. He may have a female lodger, a nurse or a housekeeper. In none of these cases is the relationship one of marriage. Though the central idea of marriage is physical union with a view to procreation, unless one party is too old (see 1 Corinthians 7:36), it is a poor thing if this is all that marriage consists of. Intercourse (other than what is physical) and affection are an essential part of marriage. If it is not, the marriage is likely to breakdown. It is a bit like the Lord's Supper. The Supper is the basic outward thing that makes a company of Christians an Assembly (1 Corinthians 11:17 onwards). However, it would be a poor thing if Christians partook of the elements and nothing else. The thanksgiving, praise and worship that accompanies and follows the partaking of the elements are an essential part of the service, just as an intimate affectionate relationship is an essential part of marriage. |
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It is important to see the reason for many of the usual marriage arrangements. These are as follows:- |
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(1) A legal ceremony which involves having witnesses and the signing of a register. This enables the government to be assured that the persons concerned are really married and are entitled to the legal benefits of married status and the relative obligations. Today these things are tending to be diluted as persons not legally married are seeking to have the benefits of married status. |
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(2) A Christian service to ask God's blessing on the marriage. Marriage being a lifelong relationship it is good to bring God into it at the beginning as well as along the way. God is interested in it as Scripture says: "Whoso hath found a wife hath found a good thing, and hath obtained favour from Jehovah" (Proverbs 18:22). |
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(3) The presence of a company at the wedding ceremonies. This ensures that there are many witnesses to the marriage and it cannot subsequently be denied that the marriage has taken place. This is usually in addition to the legal minimum of witnesses required by law as indicated above. |
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(4) A celebration to make the occasion a memorable one. This is an ancient practice as can be seen from Judges 14:10 "Samson made there a feast". (See also Matthew 22:1-14 and John 2:1-12) |
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(5) The practice of the bride wearing a white wedding dress. This is to indicate that she is pure, that is, a virgin. The white wedding dress is now worn usually as a matter of course, even for second marriages. In the past for second or third marriages the bride wore a coloured outfit. |
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As to the relationship of husband and wife, Scripture is clear that it should be a lifelong one. Paul makes this clear in Romans 7:1-3. A woman would be called an adulteress if she went with another man while her husband was still living. This is not Paul's idea. He is basing his statements on law. Christ taught the same - see Mark 10:12. There are also plenty of Old Testament passages that say the same thing, both as to the relationship of a man and his wife and as regards the spiritual relationship that existed between Jehovah and his people. However, the relationship ends at death and after one party has died the other party is free to remarry - see for instance Matthew 22:23-33. |
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Further, the relationship of husband and wife is a complementary one. The husband is the head (Ephesians 5:23) and this is necessary because having two heads would result in friction and lead to either one party dominating the relationship by force of personality or the relationship breaking down whether this resulted in actual divorce or not. In practice, a husband is likely to lose his affection for his wife if she is insubject. A wife that looks up to her husband is likely to increase his affection for her. A woman said in my hearing not very long ago something like this: "My husband has to love me lots and I have to be subject to him. Applying this we are still on our honeymoon" (the couple had been married circa ten years). The proof of the pudding they say is in the eating. Modern ideas of the marriage relationship have not resulted in greater happiness or stability in the marriage relationship. It would be shutting ones eyes to the facts to say otherwise. Scripture is clear as to how the marriage |